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You may be having trouble deciding what to get for a person or two or five or everyone on your Christmas gift list. If that's the case, never fear. I'm back with my holiday gift suggestions.
Some of you may be waiting until the last minute hoping for inspiration. Well, I understand everyone can't be as on top of their gift-giving as I am.
(What? Have I bought all my gifts? No, not exactly, but I know what I'm getting everyone on my list. I think.)
Nevertheless, here are a few ideas, assuming you haven't found what you are looking for locally.
A word of warning, there is absolutely, positively NO guarantee that my ideas will be satisfactory (as I'm sure anyone who has received a gift from me will tell you).
I'll start with what is becoming my favorite online gift shopping resource, thinkgeek.com.
Here you can find the perfect gift for dad, or mom. Say dad, or mom, has spent the afternoon putting together a bookshelf or a baby crib or something that might require a hammer. Maybe dad needs something to drink after such hard work.
Why not get the Beer Hammer Bottle Opener? Don't let the name fool you. Both the hammer and the bottle opener can be used on a variety of items, not just beer.
As iPads continue to sprout up, people are also finding new and more creative ways to use them. Some people have developed innovative medical applications or incorporated the technology for educational purposes.
But a lot of people use the iPad to play games, so why not make the gaming experience as old school as possible with the iCade - iPad Arcade Cabinet. This stand turns the iPad into the screen of an arcade-style video game, complete with joystick and plenty of buttons for mashing. No quarters needed.
Another website, firststreetonline.com, has something it describes as the perfect companion for kids or seniors. In other words, if your gift recipient is 7 and under or 70 and over, then you should get them a Tanders Animatronic Pet. These "pets" can reportedly interact with their owners and, if you are feeling extra generous and decided to get two, they can even communicate with each other.
For the pessimist on your list, click on over to stupid.com. There you can find the 2012 Doomsday Calendar.
For the person who insists that bacon makes everything better, you can buy a bacon wallet, bacon scented soap, bacon air freshener, bacon candy canes, Mr. Bacon's Wild Board Game, or a bacon ornament for the Christmas tree.
Before we leave stupid.com, if you are buying for me, they also have a "Bah Humbug" Santa hat.
Do you know a kid or someone who just acts like one? Maybe you are just mad at your siblings? Either way, perpetualkid.com may have the perfect gift - a jingle bell ring. Be sure to wait and give it to your niece or nephew right before you leave.
Now that I've taken care of the 99 percent, I'll borrow from Occupy Wall Street folks and offer a few suggestions for the 1 percent, too.
Seeing as you have much greater disposable incomes, your gift ideas should say, "No, I didn't need to spend that much, but hey, I can afford it."
Apparently, you can now purchase a 22-caret gold iPad with 53 encrusted diamonds from stuarthughes.com for just 129,000 pounds (that's around $200,000 depending on the fluctuations in the exchange rate). While you're on stuarthughes.com, you may want to check out the other luxury items, such as the diamond-encrusted MacBook Air or a 22-caret gold Nintendo Wii (just 299,995 pounds).
Then again, you may want something more practical - like a pen, specifically the Tibaldi Bentley Brooklands 18-caret white gold fountain pen. It's just $13,500 at pianki.com.
I can't think of a good way to wrap this up, so here's hoping something above inspired you to finish your shopping before Dec. 25.