Hunters and fishermen: Resolve to be safe, courteous and legal

Ever so often I'm asked where I get ideas for my articles. Some just come to me for no particular reason whatsoever, while others are spawned by something some of my friends, or I, have done. Determination as to the total truth behind what I write is left to the discrimination and imagination of the reader! But just consider almost everything I write has some element of truth to it. Maybe the truth is buried in the deepest folds of my gray matter, but it's there! And as always, my intention is never to deceive you, just to entertain. As you already know, I do very little in the way of educational articles for one obvious reason; I'm just not that smart! Ya want to read what the "experts" have to say? Then I'd suggest good books, magazine articles and the Internet! And after you've read a lot you may notice a common thread, with few exceptions they all say basically the same things, only the presentations are different!

So, rather than plagiarize someone else's work I'll just keep exerting my usual line of, well, excrement. Besides, where else can you find such a cornucopia of totally useless information and BS? O.K., I guess if you follow politics you might!

My goal, as already stated, is to entertain you, and I hope to make you laugh. With me or at me, doesn't really matter!

Now that we're in 2012, what am I going to change in my articles? Well, after almost 19 years of a poorly articulated thought process, without being fired, I'd say absolutely nothing! Sorry!

The New Year, with all its well-intended but soon forgotten resolutions, started Sunday. And as usual I also resolved to change a few things. Tops on my short list is to lose more weight and get back into some kind of shape, other than the shape I'm in! I've read that losing weight is possibly the No. 1 New Year's resolution made nationwide. This is in defiance of the "fat boys rule" philosophy that worked for me until I discovered the reality of quadruple by-pass heart surgery. So, while shedding "another" 50 pounds seems to be an unattainable dream, I'm giving it a serious shot!

Will you ever see me on one of Stevie's multi-mile runs? Maybe, but only if you have a very vivid imagination, or consume large quantities of questionable substances!

Quit being such a slob, submitted by the wife, organize my fishing equipment, suggested by John and, recommended, by most everybody, be on time are also on the list for consideration!

A resolution I wish a lot of outdoorsmen would adopt concerns ethics.

As examples: You're fishing at a bass tournament and when you get to "your" spot you discover a family in a pontoon drowning worms right where you know a big bass lurks. Do you 1.) Ask them to leave? 2.) Run circles around them till they leave? 3.) Go to another spot and maybe come back later? Or, 4.) Pull next to the pontoon and commence to fish?

You get to your tree stand location and another hunter is already there. Do you 1.) Back out quietly? 2.) Leave while singing loudly? 3.) Get the chainsaw from your truck and have your brother-in-law cover the other hunter while you cut down the tree he's in? 4.) Kick your own butt for not securing a place to hunt on private land? Or, 5.) Kick your own butt for even thinking about hunting a public land quota hunt when you already have a good spot?

My friend Jason Spalding didn't have a chainsaw handy so I chose option 5!

You find a tackle box, rod and reel or anything else. Do you 1.) Figure "finders keepers?" 2.) Try to find an owner so you can return the lost article? 3.) Pick the item up and hope nobody mentions losing it? Or, 4.) Figure it's just like the one you lost in 1978, and it's found its way home?!

Or, the incident that prompted the "ethics" discussion: Terry, Ryan and Billy invited me to hunt their "secret" spot on the Green River WMA (Wildlife Management Area) around Knifley.

We arrive in the dark, hiked several hundred yards through mud and muck, crossed a very slick and narrow beaver dam then ended up at a pothole of an acre or so. This was in an ocean of grass and buck brush. How Ryan found it in the first place is beyond me!

After our gear was stashed, decoys set and the jerk cord deployed, we hunkered down to wait for the ducks and legal shooting time.

Then we heard it! Not the sound of whistling/ wings, distant honks or soft quacks. No, what we heard sounded like a water buffalo, decked out in a blaze orange hat and vest, accompanied by an equally loud kid sloshing down the path we'd used. Blaze orange kid and Bubba walked right past us, barely acknowledging our presence and started throwing out their decoys, about 20 yards from us. This act served to confirm that they were unethical, inconsiderate and illegal, or just plain stupid! Illegal cause you can't set up that close to another group of hunters.

All Terry said was, "I'll be darned!" (I cleaned that up a little!) But, they got the message and moved another 40 yards down the bank. Still unethical, inconsiderate and illegal, and yes I know, stupid!

Later, amid more splashing from the path came a voice, "Y'all the Stones? Ya see them two ducks I scart (scared) up?" Goober then joined blaze boy and Bubba on down the bank.

But wait, it gets better!

With no ducks in the air, one of the _____, (pick the negative term) started a long and loud series of Hi-balls (duck call). However, his rendition sounded more like a Mallard with body parts hung in a barbed wire fence!

Guess that's as bad as it gets... wrong!

Next, one of them started braying like a donkey! Would've said jackass, which is technically correct, but probably not in good taste!

It became obvious they didn't like us being at "their" pond, public land, and were determined to ruin our hunt, which they did!

Our options: 1.) Ignore them 2.) Confront them 3.) Out last them or 4.) Pick up our decoys, back out and let them have the spot, then blow up their truck!

I'm not sayin' that option 4 wasn't considered! But we chose option 3.

So, for 2012, and beyond, use common sense, be safe, courteous and legal!

Terry Davis and his crew of Ryan, Ryan's mom and Billy, have completed their duck boat project. So, if you see what looks somewhat like a camo'd up ark, it isn't Noah, it's the quacker stackers!

Guess that's it for now. Get out, enjoy what Mother Nature has to offer, stay safe and I'll see ya next week!