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By Lindsay Kriz
KPA Summer intern
Recently, before Father’s Day festivities began, I was attempting to pick out the perfect outfit: something casual, but also comfortable. I finally settled on a good pair of jeans and a nice orange t-shirt and went from there. I automatically assumed that I looked okay until a few hours later, when I went to a mirror to check.
And that’s when I had a horrible revelation that’s been long overdue: I’m not comfortable with the way I look.
I’ve struggled with weight issues since I was in third grade, when I had a spike in my weight that never went down. I visited doctors who recommended me for fat camp, tried to watch what I ate, and attempted to do daily exercise videos with my mother, even though I hated them.
Initially, I would have the greatest motivation to finally try and lose some weight and get to a comfortable place for me. But the motivation barely lasted over a day, and eventually I would only exercise when someone encouraged me. My caloric intake never seemed to improve either. I would try to cut back on portion sizes, but when delicious, fattening foods were placed in front of me I couldn’t resist. My argument was that while the sweet treats were bad, I’d starved myself enough throughout the day to go ahead and indulge. But indulging led to overindulging, and I’ve continued to steadily gain even more weight over the past three years because of this failed logic.
So when I looked in that mirror, I realized I’d had enough, and this time, I believe I’ve had enough for real. I’ve finally had enough of looking at myself and not feeling satisfied, enough excuses that help me to gain weight and enough time not feeling comfortable in a bathing suit, in a strapless dress, or shorts and a T-shirt during summertime.
Someone very close to me said that the minute I begin to shed pounds I’ll feel a weight (no pun intended) come off my shoulders that I didn’t know existed. I fully believe her. When I begin to lose weight I’ll gain more confidence in my appearance, confidence in my actions, and an overall confidence in my person.
I’m ready to enjoy my life to the fullest. Because even though I’ve truly enjoyed my life up until this point, I want to finally be able to enjoy it with a full love of myself, inside and out.