The "Little" Things: Or Happy Mother's Day

Recently I ordered myself a book.  Yes I know a librarian ordering herself a book, nothing odd there.  This book however played a big part in my childhood and in retrospect seems to play a part in my adult life.  

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“We Help Mommy”, a Little Golden Book by Jean Cushman and illustrated by Eloise Wilkin is the first book I remember seeing as child.  While I don’t remember ever having this read to me I do remember pouring over the pages enamored with the day to day life of Bobby and Martha Cushman as they help their father fix breakfast, grocery shop and clean with their mother during the time that their father is away at work.  From an adult viewpoint I realize that the world of Bobby and Martha isn’t one all too of the norm for today.  Most families, as with my own, have two working parents and it is a bit sexist I suppose that Dad goes off to work and leaves mom at home to tend the home and children.  In his defense however he does fix them breakfast before he leaves for the day so at least in that sense he’s a modern man of sorts.

I identified greatly, at the age of four, with little Martha.  I was also green with envy over the miniature clothesline she had to dry her doll clothes on and the tiny rolling pin and pie tin that she had for baking her “real” pies.  At that time my life would have been complete and content if only I could spend my days making tarts and letting my clothes air dry.  The truly comical part is that I’ve not gotten too far from that mindset at thirty four.

While I consider myself as pro-woman power as any modern woman I, without any sense of guilt, will say that I’m happiest baking and that I don’t even mind doing the dishes because of the view I now have to do them by.  I could be very content to spend my days cooking and cleaning with the kids following behind and frankly I don’t think I should have to apologize for it.  My desires are for a simple life where I can relish in the “Little” things that while many might see as the mundane day to day happenings are truly glorious if you’re allowed to enjoy them.

I grew up with a stay at home mom and at that time didn’t really give much thought to the luxury of it.  While my mother has never had any affinity for baking and housecleaning the fact remains that our world went smoother because she was there to do it.  I also realize that there are many parts of what shaped me to be the person I am today that came from that upbringing.  The fact that I spent my summers at home, reading the days away and participating in summer reading at my local library isn’t lost on me when I consider how it might have guided me in the direction of my future career.

For so long I’ve told myself that there’s so much guilt that comes with modern motherhood.  Those who work and are away from their children forty or more hours per week wonder and worry over the lost time, the ways and happenings of their day that they spend and share with someone else.  Even perhaps more worrisome are the times that they ask you if you and they can stay home that day and you have to explain that it will have to wait for the weekend.

On the flip side of that I know that there are many other mothers, who stay at home and feel equally as guilty.  They wonder if they set a good example to their kids?  Is giving up their own goals, dreams and career path the thing to do?  Will the lack of time that they spend nurturing their own spirit reflect upon the personalities of their children as adults? Whatever the case is it seemed to me that a modern mother’s lot in life is to worry. 

When I received my “Little” book and I looked at it again with older eyes and all of these thoughts began to surface I found I had questions about the book and author.  The book tells of Bobby and Martha Cushman, whom I assumed were the children of the author Jean Cushman.  I also assumed that Jean is the mother in the book.  Although the mother and fathers faces were never shown.  That had me wondering even further about a book that portrayed an idealistic world from its copyright year of 1959, who was Jean?  Did she truly stay at home?  Did she juggle writing and a home life as far back as the fifties?  

I decided to google her and this is what I found.  Jean Cushman only just passed away this year at the age of 87, on February 18th2011.  

“CUSHMAN--Jean B., 87, died February 18. Born Jean Burger, she grew up in Westport, NY and went to Wells College. Married Robert Cushman in 1949 and lived in Huntington, NY. She taught English in Syosset for 19 years. and was author of two children's books. Survived by children Martha, Robert, and Mary, as well as granddaughter Julia Daly.” ( Found at The New York Times Online:  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=jean-b-cushman&pid=148855678)

What of the illustrator, Eloise Wilkin?  Search for her found that she’d illustrated more than a hundred books in her life.  In fact she continued to work as an illustrator until her death at 84 in 1987 after a battle with cancer.

While I couldn’t find much in the way of details of her role as mother for Mrs. Cushman I did find one small line for Mrs. Wilkin, regarding her life as a mom, in her Wikipedia information:

“Wilkin married Sidney Wilkin on August 18, 1930. She took a decade off from illustrating in order to raise her four children: Ann, Sidney, editor Deborah Wilkin Springett, and Jeremy.”(Found at Wikepedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eloise_Wilkin)

Jean Cushman taught English for 19 years all the while juggling home life and three children.  Eloise Wilkin had a lifelong career as an illustrator taking time off to dedicate to her kids.  I’ve so naively thought that moms of today have it so much worse.  The truth is like so many of us now they no doubt had their worries, their guilt and yet they seemed manage it all.  They each left their mark in the lives of their children and upon the world as well.  For some reason knowing that about them makes me feel happy.

See in the thick of all this, the craziness of motherhood and trying to keep a semblance of self, it’s the little things that we and I think our children remember from it all.  I will no doubt have a continuous battle in my brain over whether or not I’m doing best by them but I think I need to start taking my own advice.  “Do your best and that’s all that can be asked, be yourself because that’s exactly who I want you to be.”  I’m a mom, I’m a librarian, I’m hoping to be an artist and writer, I’m a lot of “Little” things that combine to make me, me.  The best I can do is…my best, the best I can do by them is to be myself.  They’ll have their own ups and downs and worries but hopefully through it all they’ll know they have me and just as many “Little” memories to get them there.

Happy Mothers Day, may you each have a day filled with your own “Little” pleasures.

Amy Morgeson Undercover Chickens