Presence Verses Presents

Yesterday was my birthday; I’m thirty five now, which I seem to be handling quite nicely.  I’ll admit that I did have a minor glitch earlier this week as it dawned on me that I’m a mere five years from forty but all the same I think I’m settling into a good sense of me, I feel almost like an adult now….almost.

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As she’s done for as long as she can speak my oldest, Tori, asked with her most solemn “I got your back” voice, “What do you want for your birthday Momma, cause I’ll make Daddy get it.”  Tori is by far our most girly girl and die hard shopper/fashionista.  Now mind you Gabby is equally girly, rarely leaving home in anything but a dress and having some inane sense of style that neither of us can claim giving her but Tori, well Tori, is just more apt to enforce the rules of style on you.  I have at least twice in the past month been asked, “Are you going to wear that?” followed up by, “are you at least going to put some lipstick on?” Did I remind you that Tori is six, yeah the teen years are going to be interesting.

For all her take charge attitude and future no doubt as the editor of Vogue Tori truly has her heart in the right place.  In her world presents are of the most sincere importance and they have to be the right present chosen precisely for the person getting it. 

True to her word Tori badgered her Daddy daily for the last few weeks about getting me a gift, that she needed to go shopping, that she felt certain I’d want Pizza for supper on my birthday (consequently Tori’s Favorite food) and the fact that I needed a new wallet.  Funny enough I never told Tori I needed a new wallet. That proclamation stemmed from a conversation that she had with me that started out, “Momma, where did your get your wallet?  Do you think your wallet is pretty? Do you think you need a new one?”  This was Tori’s polite way of saying, “Momma your ratty wallet is offending my sense of style but I’m trying to make you realize for yourself that it looks bad and it’s for your own good that I’m making you see this.”  Adult Tori shall also moonlight as Miss Manners.

As the day approached Tori’s birthday mission escalated until the other night she voiced her concerns once again after our nightly prayers.  Dennis and I say prayers with them every night each flip flopping which girl’s bed we sit on daily.  

As Tori finished up her request for God to help Gizmo her lost dog, Puddintane her cat who ran away, her Mawmaw and teachers and the kids who, I’ll quote,” don’t have enough food and beverages and the kids who don’t have a home because of the storms,” she broke off with, “and let Momma have a good birthday, because it’s her Birthday soon and Momma what do you want for your birthday? Because Daddy hasn’t taken me shopping and Daddy we need to go shopping and you haven’t done it!”

I tried to explain to her that I genuinely didn’t want anything and I really meant it.  I had everything right there in that room with me that I’d ever need.  I had a beautiful, somewhat bossy and at times temperamental six year old with a heart of gold, an equally gorgeous three year old who we’re pretty certain is either going to be a hippy, or the president, or both and the most amazing man and honestly my best friend in the world, right there with me.  Their presence, the quirkiness of our every day life, the mundane to the insane was better than any shiny bowed box I could ever get.

Poor Dennis finally got her worries calmed enough for her to get to sleep, promising that we’d celebrate properly and having an equally “important” conversation with Gabby about the fact that she felt certain that I’d want to eat my birthday dinner in front of the TV. 

When the evening of the big event came I got home to find my favorite dinner of roasted chicken, garden corn, green beans and potatoes,  flowers, table cloth on the table, pink princess crowns for us all (Dennis decided to forgo his), cake and yes a present. 

We ate dinner, Tori and Gabby crowned through it all, and finally after blowing out the candles I opened it up.  A cat in the hat card, Gabby’s favorite, words on the back from Dennis that would rival diamonds with the promise of rainbows and gift certificates good for: a clean bedroom (the girls that is), one day without bickering (also the girls), new clothes and of course a new wallet that Tori will no doubt “help” me pick out.