Thirteen point freaking one

Monday, Kenyan Geoffrey Mutai won the Boston Marathon (26.2 miles) in an astonishing 2 hours 3 minutes and 2 seconds. In case you're not good at math, that's an average of 4:41 per mile. It's the fastest Boston Marathon ever.

Jesse Osbourne

Pictured is me competing in the 2010 Pokey Pig 5K during the Marion County Country Ham Days festival.

It's incredible.

It's inconceivable.

It's almost unbelievable.

It's pure insanity, people!

And, it's inspirational for me, considering that I'll be competing in my second half-marathon (13.1 miles) on Saturday, April 30. I'm not brave enough to attempt the full 26.2 yet. Notice I said yet. I hope to one day, but it won't be Boston. Maybe New York City, or, better yet, Hawaii. Possibly Vegas.

But, I digress.

This past Monday's Boston Marathon was a great (and painful) day for approximately 27,000 runners, including Lebanon's own Charley Emmons who finished the race in 3 hours 31 minutes and 30 seconds. That's an average of 8:04 per mile. According to the Boston Marathon website, Emmons, 55, finished 8,090 overall, 6,528 of all male runners and 189 in his age division.

I've never met Emmons officially, but I've seen him running around Lebanon, and I hope the Enterprise can feature him in an upcoming edition. I also hope he can give me some pointers. Anyone that can run 26.2 miles is a rock star in my book. And, anyone that can swim and ride a bike BEFORE they run 26.2 miles, well, I'm convinced they're inhuman. I think they are aliens from another planet that have no pain threshold and an unlimited amount of energy and endurance.

But, again, I digress.

In preparation for my upcoming race, I've logged several miles with my favorite running partner (my Garmin Forerunner 110 watch), which keeps track of my mileage and mediocre pace. I’ve also become very familiar with the great outdoors. It’s been fun in an agonizing yet exhilarating way. A couple weeks ago, I realized that I hadn’t planned my attire for race day, so I decided to search for a special t-shirt or tank top to wear. I wanted something funny, but not crude. Witty but not too silly. After lots of searching, I found one that I thought suited me best. It says in pink letters “Thirteen point freaking one.” Any of you who know me very well know that this fits me to a tee. It’s too bad that I shrunk the darn thing in the dryer the other night. *#@^”%! Not sure if it will be appropriate for race day now, but I’ll find something else. There are plenty of other running slogans to choose from, including the ones below.

Enjoy.

- Runners often straddle the line between crazy and insane.

- While running it is rude to count the people you are passing (out loud)

- I'm only running so I can eat cake later.

- HONK if you're about to run me over.

- I'm only half crazy. 13.1

- Running is 50% physical, 49% mental and 1% crazy.

- Keep calm and go for a run.

- Run like you stole somethin’.

- I ran my butt off. Seriously, it used to be huge.

- Running is cheaper than therapy.

- Just finish it.

- Run like you mean it.

- Pain is addictive. 13.1